Stand in your truth and be real about it

In the summer of 2024, LaWanda Hollister, Statewide Organizer with the AFSC Michigan Criminal Justice Program, traveled to Florida to take part in BIG (Black Intensive Groundwork) training led by the Mass Liberation Network.

As Mass Lib writes: ”We cultivated Black joy and then we got to work… centered in our dignity, to liberate our people. Most systems take away our safety, belonging and dignity. Our work is to reclaim that from the inside out.”

In the summer of 2025, LaWanda returned to BIG with her colleague, Barbara Gunn Lartey, AFSC St. Louis Program Director. At a recent Midwest Region staff gathering, LaWanda and Barbara shared about their experiences.

LaWanda:

I learned a lot when I went to BIG. It’s very grounding. I learned a lot more about somatics and was able to bring that back and connect it with the work we do here in Michigan.

At the end of the BIG training, when we disperse, we choose other people to bring into the fold, because we’re trying to grow this work. I put out a call among AFSC, and Miss Barbara answered the call.

This year Barbara attended BIG, and I was so happy – not only for her personally, but for AFSC. I was very glad that an AFSC colleague from a different space could come and participate.

After I did BIG last year, they picked me as a trainer. So, I began learning how to train. We had the T4T – Training for Trainers - and I practiced with the people in the Michigan office.

Barbara:

First and foremost, I’m very grateful to have attended BIG and to have been recommended by LaWanda. I have engaged with LaWanda through Teams, but it was wonderful to see this sister in another element and to see (with some pun intended) how BIG she is and the impact she has on spaces.

And even though she tends to be very economical with the things she has to say, when she says them, people would lean in, with pens in hand. That’s the power this sister brings to this space. I want to acknowledge that and thank LaWanda.

BIG was absolutely transformational. I’m still in the headspace about it, because one of the most powerful takeaways as organizers, activists, and people just trying to do life – is this symbiosis: If we are not healed, and we are in spaces as unhealed people, then we’re screwing up the room. We’re not an asset to the space.

So, for example, my frame of reference right now is the aftermath of the May 2025 tornado in St. Louis. I’ve seen staff at the Urban League give out tents to those who have to live on their homesteads because they have no place to live.

But if I see that as an outside thing, without checking in, what’s triggering for me? What’s coming up for me? I may be out protesting, but if I’m not clear with myself, I run the risk of worsening the situation.

Somatically speaking, it’s about checking in: What am I feeling? What’s triggering me? Why, and what’s my work to do?

And so following this very intense week [at BIG], I’ve been using this practice. That’s one of the things I truly appreciate about the personal, healing, transformational work for myself as I continue to impact communities.

The thing about BIG was – there were very few, if any, hypotheticals. It was real. What I mean by that is, just as we saw with our [Midwest Region staff] grief exercise, there’s so much pain in the world.

So how do we as a collective, as a community, particularly as leaders and organizers, get on the same page for a moment to make impact? Who’s going to do what, and how do you decide? How will it be done, and what’s the timeline?

And you don’t have four months to figure this out. And there are egos and pride involved, and there are those who’ve done such work and others who are newer – all of that is in this soup.

In this activity [at BIG], we were tasked with creating a campaign. [Barbara described a challenging, intergenerational discussion around how abolitionists might support a mother grieving the killing of her son at the hands of a police officer.]

This has been replicated throughout our history. These kinds of vibrant, discordant conversations are par for the course. Once you center respect, love, purpose and shared vision, we can get where we need to go. And we did.

Being in a place and an experience that aligns with where my heart is…. If we can be accountable for who we are personally, if we can take seriously our healing and transformation, if we can excavate why do I believe what I believe, and why do I do what I do, and how can I connect with you? That, for me, was everything.

In terms of how the BIG space was designed, in terms of being Black, I don’t hold it as being exclusive to others, but inclusive of a community of people who are the descendants of four million enslaved people in this country. 

So what it’s like to be in community with that, and not having this elitist – “Have you read this person?” or “Do you know this organizer?” 

Come as you are. The only expectation is that you stand in your truth and be real about it. Because you will be called out. Trust and believe you don’t want to be called out by someone like LaWanda. I guarantee you.

So yes to bringing in others. Because it’s one of the most powerful spaces I’ve been in. Imagine if this knowledge and these skills were shared among all our staff.